“Here’s the thing: the book that will most change your life is the book you write.”
~ Seth Godin
Why do we do what we do? I personally write because it is the best way to express myself and share my purpose. What is my purpose? I have thought this quite a lot recently, and my best answer is to make people realize that time is precious, and they should do what makes them happy, and this happiness will align with their purpose. So when people feel asleep at the wheel of life, I want to gently shake them up and make sure they stay on target.
Seems simple enough, but the problem is that life itself has become complicated, handling relationships, jobs or businesses, caring for children and/or parents, and many other responsibilities and activities. So it is easy to get lost on the busyness of modern life. The key is to manage all aspects of life in a way that we maintain our individuality or sense of self. Yes, we may be spouses, parents, sons or daughters, siblings, friends, in one or several social circles, but we are also people, and we should not put our needs on hold in order to fulfill some sense of duty for others. It is perfectly acceptable to do both. We deserve to be the stars in the movie of our lives. I actually arrived at this conclusion by accident, as most ideas tend to happen to me. Or maybe it was not an accident at all, just I was not attuned to see the nuances of life.
I have been completely alone for the first time in my life. I lived with my parents into my 30’s (at a time before it was considered cool or financially necessary lol), then I was married for almost a decade, then divorced and then in a relationship for more than a year, and now I am flying solo for over a year. Like with new experiences, I was a bit scared at the beginning, like I had no purpose, nobody to support, counsel or raise anymore. But then I thought, maybe the person I am supposed to support/counsel/raise is myself! So I started to study myself and my habits up to now, what I was happy with, and what I wanted to improve. I started reading from people who have been thinking about this far longer than I. Then I took notes and started to see patterns appear, which lead me to listen to my own voice. The noise of life sometimes is too loud and we must be conscious. Now I am at the stage of sharing what I believe has helped me being my true authentic self, not necessarily a different me, but the true me.
One of the positive outcomes of my present lifestyle is that I have time to read, write, and especially think. I understand perfectly that not everyone has the luxury of having time to themselves, so taking baby steps, start scheduling some time to think about what makes you tick, what puts you in a state of flow, etc. If this has not happened to you in a while, think back when you were a kid, when there were no responsibilities and the summers would last forever. I remember when I was younger and my Dad would take me to John F Kennedy Library in Hialeah, and I would spend hours reading books, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Many years later, I have returned to reading, now made easier with e-books, although I still return to the library once in a while, as the smell of old books has not been (yet) replaced by their electronic counterparts.
What did you enjoy doing when you were younger? What would make you forget about everyone and everything, until your parents called you to have dinner? Or maybe it was later in life, in your teens, twenties, etc., when you would get lost in books, nature, swimming, working with plants, painting, taking the perfect photo, staring into the sunset? The best part of this exercise is that there is no right or wrong answer; it’s whatever works for us as individuals, and that is the whole point of it, finding our sense of self, which may have been sleeping all these years, and is now ready to wake up.
- You can read more about my first library here